Saturday, November 27, 2010


I seem to have lost my wallet! It is fucking with my head like you wouldn't believe.

I have looked everywhere. I have looked everywhere at least twice. I've crawled on the ground looking underneath maybe half the furniture in this house. I've torn my room apart - I don't think there's a square inch in there that I haven't looked at today, except for maybe spots that you have to disassemble furniture to get to. I have taken all the cushions off of all the couches, I think. I've called the last place I saw the wallet, and since I came home straightaway after that and haven't really gone anywhere since, there are no leads there. I am this close to trying to figure out a tactful way to call up everybody that was here for Thanksgiving and asking if they walked off with my wallet. Like I said, fucking with my head.

Why am I freaking out so much? This is my first time losing my wallet, and I suppose my first time finding out just how much of a pain it is. If I can't find it before my flight on Sunday, I'm going to have to cancel my credit card and debit card, replace my insurance card, replace my Social Security card, replace my ORCA card (free bus rides, one of many Microsoft perks) so I can ride the bus to work. (By a sheer stroke of luck, I still have my driver's license; don't even ask. XD)

And then, I have to figure out how to keep this from ever happening again. Because, see, I can't just leave a problem like this alone, and deal with it when it comes up. I'm a pathological overthinker. My reaction when a hard drive fails is to create increasingly elaborate system of redundant storage, culminating in what I built earlier this month. My reaction to almost losing my cell phone is to keep multiple backups of all the data on it, just in case. Now that I've lost my wallet once, I'm not sure that I'll be able to ignore the possibility of it happening again - my brain just doesn't work that way. I don't know how I'll solve the problem of randomly losing things that I need to carry around everywhere I go, but I know that I'll be kind of agitated and jittery until I do - it's just how I'm wired.

My mom, bless her heart, tried to help - not by helping me look, but by trying to make me feel better about losing my wallet. Frankly, it just made things worse. She asked me to imagine the worst-case scenario; thanks for the completely generic advice! I definitely feel inclined to sit and listen to you, when I know that you're taking this far less seriously than I am! Plus, I know on an almost subconscious level that she's just trying to make me feel better, and that's not what I want. I don't want to feel better about it, and I don't want to sit down and think about "how bad could it really be". I want to find my goddamn wallet. If all your help means to me is that I have to act calmer while I'm searching frantically, then please, just stop trying.

Anyway, I haven't given up yet. I still have another day to try and figure out where it went. I am convinced that it's still in this house somewhere, and that's the most incredibly frustrating thing - it's so close, but I may not have enough time to find it! Still, I've got until my flight on Sunday. Once I get on the plane, then I'll give up, and start figuring out what all I need to replace. Until then, there's still hope.


Æther said...

When I was maybe 10 years old and before I had any important stuff in my wallet it fell out of my pocket at the family farm. 100 acres of land is difficult to search. My cousins finally found it a few years ago. All the money had disintegrated. For several years after that I was putting my wallet only in pockets with buttons on them and constantly checking to see it was there. Now I just settle for checking if it's there every 30 minutes or so since I often wear jeans with no buttons on the pockets.

Kiriska said...

There is keeping the bare minimum in your wallet. Cash, credit cards. Insurance card, I guess. Those are easy enough to deal with/cancel/replace, I think. Social security definitely shouldn't have been in there in the first place! You almost never need it if you have the number memorized. Driver's license I guess is important... though when I was in Savannah and didn't drive, I left it out of my wallet as well. I don't keep my debit card in my wallet unless I'm going to the bank. I think this would minimize the annoyance of losing a wallet.

But as for preventing its loss in the first place... eh, wallet chain? I can definitely understand the frustration. I was always paranoid of getting mugged when I was in Savannah, which is why I don't keep much in my purse/wallet at all, but I don't think there's a simple way to make sure you never lose it period, unfortunately.

I have lost my entire goddamn purse at least twice in a restaurant but have always managed to recover it somehow. I really hope you find the damn thing before your flight tomorrow. :C